Setting priorities in student life

When I was in 3^rd or 4^th standard, I somehow developed the interest of collecting wrestling cards. Over the time, I got so addicted to it that I would dream only about those cards. Day and night I used to think how can I collect more and stack them in my cupboard. Today I don’t exactly remember when and how I lost that interest. Is it not funny that the things which were so important to us at a point of time suddenly look so silly now? But that’s how the life is.

Now let me talk about the present days. They say- we humans are social animals. We always want to be part of something big, something greater than us like a community, a tribe, a nation; because there is a sense of security in that, that’s how the civilizations came into existence. Today most of the social media platforms have incorporated this very principle of belongingness at the deep root level. When you sign up for any of these platforms, you suddenly get a sense of belongingness. There you see all kinds of people – family, friends, relatives, strangers whom you might not see in your life, but all of them are there in one place, sharing things about their lives. Now you also feel like sharing something about yourself. You shared it. People started reacting and commenting on your post. Now your brain starts playing with you. A hormone called Dopamine, whose job is to make you feel happy, is released in your brain everytime you see a new like or a comment on your post. This further deepens your sense of belongingness. So now you have entered into a loop. You post more contents, you get more likes and comments, you get connected to more people, and the cycle goes on. This is how a typical social media journey which turns into an addiction look like.

But addiction is not the only problem with social media. People in social media directly or indirectly set a standard for everything, like- the way one looks, the way one dresses etc. Most people don’t care about these standards but some people take these things a bit seriously. They start comparing themselves with others in every aspect. They try to look good, they give themselves a fancy name, and they try all kinds of method to gather more followers, just to stay relevant to some ongoing superficial trend, to impress the people who don’t even care about them. And when these things do not work, they go through all kinds of mental anxieties. The saddest part here is that they start blaming themselves for everything. They don’t realize that we all are not made the same way, that we all are not born and brought up in same environment.  

Now let me talk about online gaming- even more exciting and addictive than the social media. The advancement in the gaming industry has been phenomenal in the recent years. From simple 2D games to sophisticated online multiplayer games with excellent graphics and resolution where hundreds of players can come together and play, the gaming industry has come very far. Most of the famous online games that we play today are far more addictive and their dopamine effect is far stronger than the social media.

When a famous game called Mobile legends got banned in India, one of the junior brothers from my school had posted about it in Facebook in which he had said something disrespectful about the Prime Minister. So I texted him saying-“I know brother how you must be feeling, but you could have said the same thing in more polite and respectful manner.” He replied saying-“I know brother but Mobile legends is not just a game for me, it is everything.” When we give so much importance to something that it becomes everything for us we are bound to feel miserable when that thing is not there anymore. So let us keep reminding ourselves that whatever is happening within us is life and not something which is happening inside an electronic device because there have been incidents when people have taken extreme steps when their favorite apps got banned.

Now let me talk about movies and web series- one of our favorite topics for gossips. We can watch a movie for 2 hours and then gossip about it forever. One day one of my friends came to me, looked straight into my eyes and said-“most of the Bollywood movies are copied from South Indian movies”, and I was like- “neither I am a Bollywood celebrity nor my father owns the industry, then why are you telling me this?” Movies are there for our entertainment purpose only. So watch it, pick some lessons from it, clap for it and be done with it. Unless you are going to make your living out of it, I don’t think it is worth spending much time and energy on these things.

Now there are few reasons why I am talking about all these things. First, as most of us are students, our main job is to study and learn new skills. Everyday we are spending few hours attending online classes and studying. But are we doing during the rest of the time matters a lot. And most of us are spending time on our mobile phones. But since we are using phones during our free time, it becomes our habit to keep checking phones even when we are doing important tasks like homework, assignments, revision for exams etc. over the time it becomes so compulsive that we find ourselves checking our phones even when the classes are going on, and that’s a serious issue. As students, we need to prioritize studies over everything else.

The second reason is the number of people who are spending unreasonable amount of time on their mobile phones. It is not just hundred or thousand people. Right from the 6^th standard, or even the lower classes, to the university level, this whole generation of ours is going through some or the other kind of psychological problem which directly connects to excessive use of mobile phones, this is one of the reasons why some famous apps got banned in our country.

Now the final reason, let us go 20 years into the future when we are at our late 30s or early 40s, and ask ourselves, at that point in our lives what will matter to us the most? Most of the things on which we are wasting so much of our time and energy today is not gonna matter at all. They are like my fascination for wrestling cards about which I talked in the beginning. Today even if somebody gives me roomful of those cards, it won’t add any value to my life. Those cards are not gonna matter to me anymore because when I look at myself today, all the time and energy that I wasted collecting those cards have not contributed to my overall growth as a human being in anyway. Similarly, 20 years later it is not gonna matter to you how many movies and web series did you watch, it is not gonna matter how many games and up to what level you have played, it is not gonna matter how many followers did you manage to garner in social media.

So what is gonna matter then? Today we are dependent on our family for everything. But after 20 years we are gonna be the one on whom the whole family will be dependent. So the questions that are gonna matter to us are- am I capable of supporting my family and give them happiness? Am I satisfied with what I have done in my life? Have I been able to build that dream house of mine? Have I been able to buy that dream car of mine? I know it sounds little silly now but that’s how most of us gonna end up like. I believe especially in society like ours where everything about us is judged on financial basis, aspiring to become financially well off is not being materialistic.

I know there are many positive sides to social media, gaming and entertainment, but I have intentionally talked only about their negative sides because I want you to observe yourself and see if you are also going through any of those negative phases. I am not saying these things are bad but anything done excessively becomes unhealthy. As students, our first priority should always be studies and career, and then comes our family and friends, then our hobbies, then entertainment and so on. I can guarantee you that if you prioritize things and keep balance between them today, you will do much better in your life and your future-self will thank you for doing the right thing today.

Whatever I have talked about here are my own perceptions which basically come from my own experiences and the people around me. So it is possible that you might find these things irrelevant and even contradictory. But that’s ok. I am not trying to force my perception on you. In fact, I want you to think over these things and come up with your own opinions and then see if our thoughts match. It is always better to have our own opinions than to blindly believe someone else’s words. Always remember and keep reminding yourself that the things which matter most should not be left at the mercy of the things that matter less.